One divorce scandal of a certain celebrity became a hot topic in Japan, but speaking of June, it's a season of wedding. "June bride" a bride who has a wedding ceremony in June must be happy. This phrase has been already rooted in Japan. However, there are still a lot of differences between the U.S. and Japan in wedding culture and I did a research on it this time.
Wedding ceremony itself is not so different between two countries if we have a ceremony in church not Shinto-style wedding. However, there are a lot of differences in wedding reception between the U.S. and Japan.
First of all, guests can take their partner in the U.S, but basically, guests are not allowed to take their partner in Japan. In Japanese style wedding, sometime guests feel lonely when there is no friends, but in the U.S, there is no concern about it. However it requires you to have a partner.
Next, in the U.S, there is no custom that guests give gift money in special envelopes called goshuugi in Japan. In the U.S, registry system is popular that couples make their wish list and register it on a department store web site. Then, guests buy an item from this list within their budget and send it before the wedding reception. Thus, there is no concern about receiving same gifts and unwanted items. It's really convenient and even if you change your mind later, gift receipt allows you to return or exchange. However, if guests access the web site too late, it could be that there are only expensive items left on the list. In addition, it's common to cover wedding reception expense with gift money that couples receive from guests in Japan, but couples in the U.S. have to cover this expense by themselves, because they can not receive gift money like in Japan or even if they do, it's not enough.
Third, In the U.S style reception, there is no go-between to arrange a marriage between couples called nakoudo in Japan. There are bridesmaids for brides and best men for grooms who wear same dress or bow tie and support bride and groom instead. I think many Japanese people have seen this scene in the U.S. movie.
In addition, there is the custom to have a final single party before their wedding ceremony in the U.S. In this party, they seem to really make a racket with each other. Men go to a strip bar and women go to a male strip bar which are not shown to partner. It's called "bachelor party" for groom side and "bridal shower" for bride side. bachelor party is held between only men and bridal shower is held between only women. These parties are conducted by their brothers and sisters, their friend and relatives with the meaning of their celebration.
Wedding reception itself, Japanese style has a lot of programs and foods to give hospitality to guests and it's known for the biggest event in their life. By contrast, U.S. style focuses on more casual and celebrating bride and groom with drinking, eating and dancing. So, guests don't have to hear long and boring speech like in Japan. In addition, come to think of other big difference, it's common to dance after they have a meal in the U.S. There is a custom that unless bride and groom do a first dance, others are not allowed to go to the dance floor. This dance time is too long. Three hours is not special. So, guests start to leave gradually after saying good-bye to new couple during dance time. In Japan, bride read a letter for their parents and then the wedding reception going to a dramatic finale. Then, bride and groom send off guests at the gate. Compared to Japanese style, U.S style is more simple and casual without souvenir gifts that is common custom called hikidemono in Japan.
In this way, even though Japan is importing western style wedding, there are still a lot of wedding culture difference between U.S. and Japan. Japanese original culture of being polite and respectful to someone makes these kind of differences. There are variety of rules in wedding ceremony and reception in Japan such as the way of writing invitation cards, the way of returning a card, gift money shouldn't break by two and some NG words in a speech. However, I think these considerations are the one of the good wedding culture in Japan at the same time. As the American people's point of view, these customs look weird and complicating, but I think these culture gaps are really interesting and there is no need to change.
However, I hope bachelor party and bridal shower are imported to Japan.
Written in Jun 2013
日米結婚式事情
日本ではとある芸能人の離婚騒動が話題になっていますが６月と言えば結婚のシーズンですね。「ジューンブライド」６月の花嫁は幸せになる。これは日本でもすっかり定着したアメリカの風習ですが、アメリカと日本ではまだまだ結婚式における風習がいろいろ違うみたいなので今回はこのテーマについて調べてみました。
神前ではなく教会式を選べば結婚式自体はあまり違いはありませんが披露宴においては日米でかなりスタイルが異なります。
まずアメリカだと招待された友人は自分のパートナーを連れて来てもOKですが、日本ではその友人のみの招待でパートナーは基本的に呼ばれません。日本だとたまに知り合いが少なくてアウェー状態になるときがありますがアメリカ式なら安心ですね。でもパートナーがいるのが前提ですが、、
次に現金を包むご祝儀のシステムがアメリカには基本的にありません。アメリカでポピュラーなのがレジストリーというシステムで事前にカップルがデパートなどに欲しいものリストを登録して招待客はそれを見て自分の予算にあった物を選んで事前に渡します。だからダブったり、いらないものが贈られる事はないので合理的です。ギフトレシートも同封されているので後で気が変わって返品、交換する事も可能です。ただ出遅れると高い物しかリストに残っていないという事もあるみたいです。あと日本では披露宴はご祝儀でチャラになる事が多いですが、それが無い、もしくはあっても数十ドル程度のアメリカではかなりの金銭的な負担になるようです。
そして日本でいう夫婦間の仲立ちをする仲人というシステムは無く、代わりに花嫁側はブライズメイズ、花婿側はベストメンと呼ばれる人たちが、お揃いのドレスや蝶ネクタイで披露宴に色を添えながら新郎新婦の 介添を行います。これはアメリカ映画でよく出てくるシーンなので見た事ある人も多いと思います。
あとアメリカでは結婚式の前に独身最後のパーティがあります。これでは、お互いかなり羽目をはずすようです。ストリップバーやゲイバーに行ったりとお互いパートナーには見せられないような内容で盛り上がります。花婿側のをバチェラーパーティ、花嫁側のをブライダルシャワーと呼び、男性同士、女性 同士で行います。兄弟姉妹、友人、同僚などが祝福の意味を込めて開いてくれます。
披露宴自体は多彩なプログラムと料理で招待客をもてなす人生最大のイベントといわれる日本式に対してアメリカ式はもっとカジュアルで皆が自由に飲んで、食べて、踊って、楽しん で二人の門出を祝うといったイメージです。なので日本のようにやたら長くてくだらないスピーチを我慢しなくてもいいのです。あと大きな違いと言えばアメリカ式の披露宴では食事の後、皆でダンスパーティーをするのが普通です。新郎と新婦が最初に「ファーストダンス」をしないと、他の人たちがダンスフロアーに出られない決まりもあります。このダンスタイムがやたら長い。３時間くらいは当たり前のようです。なので招待客は各自新郎新婦に一声かけて徐々に帰って行きます。日本では最後に両親に手紙を読んで感動のフィナーレをむかえ、その後出口で一人一人のゲストにお礼の挨拶をしますがアメリカ式は引き出物も無くあっさりとしたものです。
このように西洋式のスタイルを取り込んだ日本式の披露宴も良くも悪くもいろんな違いがまだまだあります。礼を尽くすといった日本の文化が披露宴に於いても違いを生み出しているのではないでしょうか。招待状の出し方、返し方、ご祝儀は２で割れる数字はだめとか挨拶でも使ってはいけない言葉などいろいろなしきたりが日本にはあります。このお互いの気の遣いようが日本の良さだと思う。アメリカ人からしたらめんどくさいの一言で終わるかもしれませんがこのような違いはおもしろいしこのままでいいと思う。
ただしバチェラーパーティ＆ブライダルシャワーはぜひ日本にも導入してもらいたい。
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