Friday, June 21, 2013

Culture gap in wedding Japan & U.S.








One divorce scandal of a certain celebrity became a hot topic in Japan, but speaking of June, it's a season of wedding. "June bride" a bride who has a wedding ceremony in June must be happy. This phrase has been already rooted in Japan. However, there are still a lot of differences between the U.S. and Japan in wedding culture and I did a research on it this time.

Wedding ceremony  itself is not so different between two countries if we have a ceremony in church not Shinto-style wedding. However, there are a lot of differences in wedding reception between the U.S. and Japan.

First of all, guests can take their partner in the U.S, but basically, guests are not allowed to take their partner in Japan. In Japanese style wedding, sometime guests feel lonely when there is no friends, but in the U.S, there is no concern about it.  However it requires you to have a partner.

Next, in the U.S, there is no custom that guests give gift money in special envelopes called goshuugi in Japan. In the U.S, registry system is popular that couples make their wish list and register it on a department store web site. Then, guests buy an item from this list within their budget and send it before the wedding reception. Thus, there is no concern about receiving same gifts and unwanted items. It's really convenient and even if you change your mind later, gift receipt allows you to return or exchange. However, if guests access the web site too late, it could be that there are only expensive items left on the list. In addition, it's common to cover  wedding reception expense with gift money that couples receive from guests in Japan, but couples in the U.S. have to cover this expense by themselves, because they can not receive gift money like  in Japan or even if they do, it's not enough.

Third, In the U.S style reception, there is no go-between to arrange a marriage between couples called nakoudo in Japan. There are bridesmaids for brides and best men for grooms who wear same dress or bow tie and support bride and groom instead. I think many Japanese people have seen this scene in the U.S. movie.

In addition, there is the custom to have a final single party before their wedding ceremony in the U.S. In this party, they seem to really make a racket with each other. Men go to a strip bar and women go to a male strip bar which are not shown to partner. It's called "bachelor party" for groom side and "bridal shower" for bride side. bachelor party is held between only men and bridal shower is held between only women. These parties are conducted by their brothers and sisters, their friend and relatives with the meaning of their celebration.  

Wedding reception itself, Japanese style has a lot of programs and foods to give hospitality to guests and it's known for the biggest event in their life. By contrast, U.S. style focuses on more casual and celebrating bride and groom with drinking, eating and dancing. So, guests don't have to hear long and boring speech like in Japan. In addition, come to think of other big difference, it's common to dance after they have a meal in the U.S. There is a custom that unless bride and groom do a first dance, others are not allowed to go to the dance floor. This dance time is too long. Three hours is not special. So, guests start to leave gradually after saying good-bye to new couple during dance time. In Japan, bride read a letter for their parents and then the wedding reception going to a dramatic finale. Then, bride and groom send off guests at the gate. Compared to Japanese style, U.S style is more simple and casual without souvenir gifts that is common custom called hikidemono in Japan.

In this way, even though Japan is importing western style wedding, there are still a lot of wedding culture difference between U.S. and Japan. Japanese original culture of being polite and respectful to someone makes these kind of differences. There are variety of rules in wedding ceremony and reception in Japan such as the way of writing invitation cards, the way of returning a card, gift money shouldn't break by two and some NG words in a speech. However, I think these considerations are the one of the good wedding culture in Japan at the same time. As the American people's point of view, these customs look weird and complicating, but I think these culture gaps are really interesting and there is no need to change.

However, I hope bachelor party and bridal shower are imported to Japan.

Written in Jun 2013


日米結婚式事情

日本ではとある芸能人の離婚騒動が話題になっていますが6月と言えば結婚のシーズンですね。「ジューンブライド」6月の花嫁は幸せになる。これは日本でもすっかり定着したアメリカの風習ですが、アメリカと日本ではまだまだ結婚式における風習がいろいろ違うみたいなので今回はこのテーマについて調べてみました。

神前ではなく教会式を選べば結婚式自体はあまり違いはありませんが披露宴においては日米でかなりスタイルが異なります。

まずアメリカだと招待された友人は自分のパートナーを連れて来てもOKですが、日本ではその友人のみの招待でパートナーは基本的に呼ばれません。日本だとたまに知り合いが少なくてアウェー状態になるときがありますがアメリカ式なら安心ですね。でもパートナーがいるのが前提ですが、、

次に現金を包むご祝儀のシステムがアメリカには基本的にありません。アメリカでポピュラーなのがレジストリーというシステムで事前にカップルがデパートなどに欲しいものリストを登録して招待客はそれを見て自分の予算にあった物を選んで事前に渡します。だからダブったり、いらないものが贈られる事はないので合理的です。ギフトレシートも同封されているので後で気が変わって返品、交換する事も可能です。ただ出遅れると高い物しかリストに残っていないという事もあるみたいです。あと日本では披露宴はご祝儀でチャラになる事が多いですが、それが無い、もしくはあっても数十ドル程度のアメリカではかなりの金銭的な負担になるようです。

そして日本でいう夫婦間の仲立ちをする仲人というシステムは無く、代わりに花嫁側はブライズメイズ、花婿側はベストメンと呼ばれる人たちが、お揃いのドレスや蝶ネクタイで披露宴に色を添えながら新郎新婦の 介添を行います。これはアメリカ映画でよく出てくるシーンなので見た事ある人も多いと思います。

あとアメリカでは結婚式の前に独身最後のパーティがあります。これでは、お互いかなり羽目をはずすようです。ストリップバーやゲイバーに行ったりとお互いパートナーには見せられないような内容で盛り上がります。花婿側のをバチェラーパーティ、花嫁側のをブライダルシャワーと呼び、男性同士、女性 同士で行います。兄弟姉妹、友人、同僚などが祝福の意味を込めて開いてくれます。

披露宴自体は多彩なプログラムと料理で招待客をもてなす人生最大のイベントといわれる日本式に対してアメリカ式はもっとカジュアルで皆が自由に飲んで、食べて、踊って、楽しん で二人の門出を祝うといったイメージです。なので日本のようにやたら長くてくだらないスピーチを我慢しなくてもいいのです。あと大きな違いと言えばアメリカ式の披露宴では食事の後、皆でダンスパーティーをするのが普通です。新郎と新婦が最初に「ファーストダンス」をしないと、他の人たちがダンスフロアーに出られない決まりもあります。このダンスタイムがやたら長い。3時間くらいは当たり前のようです。なので招待客は各自新郎新婦に一声かけて徐々に帰って行きます。日本では最後に両親に手紙を読んで感動のフィナーレをむかえ、その後出口で一人一人のゲストにお礼の挨拶をしますがアメリカ式は引き出物も無くあっさりとしたものです。

このように西洋式のスタイルを取り込んだ日本式の披露宴も良くも悪くもいろんな違いがまだまだあります。礼を尽くすといった日本の文化が披露宴に於いても違いを生み出しているのではないでしょうか。招待状の出し方、返し方、ご祝儀は2で割れる数字はだめとか挨拶でも使ってはいけない言葉などいろいろなしきたりが日本にはあります。このお互いの気の遣いようが日本の良さだと思う。アメリカ人からしたらめんどくさいの一言で終わるかもしれませんがこのような違いはおもしろいしこのままでいいと思う。

ただしバチェラーパーティ&ブライダルシャワーはぜひ日本にも導入してもらいたい。

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tennis heaven in LA










LA is tennis heaven! I feel so these days. I play tennis at my office's courts in the weekdays and I play at the courts of my friend's condominium in the weekends. The courts in my company has lighting systems, so I can play tennis after 5 easily. The courts in my friend's condominium is also really comfortable and I can play for free if I play with the people who live there. In addition, I can find a lot of tennis courts at neighborhood parks and most of middle and high schools open their courts in the weekends. What is more, these courts are less crowded, so I don't need to reserve at all. What's more, LA weather is always warm and no rain, so it's really convenient to play. Finally, Tennis equipments prices are really cheap compared to Japan. Even new model rackets are about $190 including strings. It's like a Tennis heaven.  

When I was in Tokyo, I enjoyed to play tennis, but it wasn't good a situation that private court fee is expensive 4000 yen/hour ($45/h) and even though public court fee is inexpensive, we have to win a lottery reservation system and we can make only 2hours reservation. In addition, Japan has a lot of rain, it is humid and hot in the summer and it is cold in the winter compared to LA. In addition, once I want to buy a new racket, I need to prepare at least 30000 yen ($350) and ball price is 800 yen and it has only 2 balls(3 balls in the U.S) If I live in the country side, it becomes better. However, playing tennis in Tokyo requires a lot of time and effort. Even though I do so, the weather is still uncertain.

In addition, I joined the company's tennis club and I have a lot of friends other than my business associate. I'm enjoying my private time to watch the professional tennis game and having BBQ with them. I think it's one of advantage of not only playing tennis but also all sports that I can enjoy with local player even though we have a language and culture barrier.

In addition, there is a perfect organizing system of tennis match in the U.S. called USTA(United States Tennis Association). They control most of all tennis club in the U.S and run U.S open. Surprisingly, the total amount of membership are 700,000. The skill level is separated from 1.0 by 0.5 unit to 7.0 unlike three levels in Japan and we can participate in tournaments and league matches at each level. Once player join a match, he/she can get a point and raise their ranking. This system that organize all nation is one of the big advantages in the U.S.

Besides, there are a lot of professional tennis matches that many famous player participate and we can watch easily and cheaper price. I watched most of top players at BNP open tennis that I went to see recently and many retired players like McEnroe and Agassi participate at the senior league and we can enjoy to see easily too.

As I described, America has a lot of free tennis courts in condominiums, public parks and middle or high schools and we can use without reservation. the weather is warm and no rain all throughout the year. It has amazing tennis equipment prices and a perfect organizing system of tennis match. And the situation of watching famous players easily makes America a tennis heaven. These advantages are completely different from Japan.

If you have a chance to live in the U.S, I recommend to enjoy this perfect situation of playing tennis.

Written in May 2013

日本語版

LAはテニス天国だ!!つくづく最近そう感じます。平日は会社のコートで週末はテニス仲間が住んでいる集合住宅に付いているコートでテニスを楽しんでます。会社のコートはナイター設備もあり仕事の後に気軽に一汗かけます。集合住宅に付いているコートも非常に快適で住んでいる人がいれば自由に無料で使うことができます。この他にも近くの公園に行けばテニスコートはあるし近くの中学、高校のテニスコートも週末は無料で開放しているところがほとんどです。しかも空いているので予約など全く必要ありません。加えてLAは年中温暖で気候がよく雨も降らないので快適度はさらにアップします。さらにいうとテニス用品も日本と比べると圧倒的に安いです。最新のラケットでもガット込みで190ドル(1万7千円)程度で買えてしまいます。まさにテニス天国な環境です。

東京にいるときもテニスを楽しんでましたが今思えば民間のコートは一時間4千円とかで高すぎるしく区営コートは安いけど予約は抽選で当たっても2時間しかとれなくて不便でした。気候もLAに比べて雨が多い、夏は蒸し暑い、冬は寒いと快適に出来る季節は限られますし、道具もラケット買おうとすると1本3万円のイメージだしボールも2個しか入ってないのに800円とか高過ぎです。田舎に行くと環境は良くなるのでしょうが都会でテニスを続けるのは結構手間と費用がかかる上に天候も不安定で大変でした。

また私は会社のテニス部に入っているので仕事以外の友達もたくさん出来きました。一緒にプロの試合を観に行ったりBBQをやったりとプライベートな時間を楽しんでいます。ラケット一つあれば言葉や文化が違っても楽しむ事が出来るのはテニスに限らずスポーツの良いところですね。

加えてアメリカではテニスの試合をする環境も完璧に整っています。アメリカには全米テニス協会USTA(United States Tennis Association)というのがあり、全米のほとんどのテニスクラブを統括して全米オープンの運営もしています。会員数はなんと70万人。レベルも日本の3段階と違い1.0から7.0まで0.5単位で細かく別れており、それぞれのレベルでトーナメントやリーグ戦に参加することができます。試合に出るとポイントが付きランキングをあげる事も出来ます。この全米を統括するシステムがアメリカテニスの凄さでもあります。

その他アメリカでは有名選手が出る大会が数多くあり手軽に観戦出来る環境も整っています。最近行ったBNPオープンテニスでは4大大会と比べても遜色の無いくらいほとんどのトッププロが出ていましたしマッケンローやアガシなどの引退したベテランもシニアリーグの試合に出ていて気軽に観戦する事が出来ます。

このように無料で使えるコートが集合住宅に併設されていたり公園や学校にたくさんあり予約なしで気軽に使える環境、温暖で雨の降らない気候(LA限定)、格安のテニス用品、完璧なUSTAの試合運営システム、有名選手のプレーを気軽に楽しめる環境とどれをとっても日本のそれとは比べ物になりません。まさに天国です。

もしアメリカに長期滞在出来る機会のある人はぜひこのテニス天国な環境を味わっていただきたいと思います。